Life

Animals and Homosexuality

Now before anyone starts labelling me as weird I’d like to state my position on this as one of sheer curiosity more than anything else. On a number of occasions I’ve sat down and pondered whether homosexualtiy exist only in humans or whether other living species also exhibit this behaviour. The problem is I just don’t know where to start looking for the answers and so this blog leads me to make many assumptions before I come to my own conclusion on the matter.

The problem with animals is that there is not very much distinction between the two genders apart from maybe chickens/roosters and lions/lionesses. This in my opinion makes it easier for most animals to keep their homosexuality a secret to humans at the very least and somewhat gives them homosexual camouflage from us. In other words we may actually have been witness to same gender lovemaking on one of Attenboroughs wildlife programmes with out actually being aware of it.

Anyway enough of that and more focus on the question seeing as I have yet to make any progress on an answer. So the only real way i’m gonna answer this is through absurdity analysis i.e. entertain the idea of specific animals being gay and determine whether its absurd or not. This is a tried and tested method and a very scientific/objective approach to this question. OK so lets begin:

Can tigers be gay? Don’t be Absurd. An animal as viscious and ruthless as a tiger does not really exhibit any gay charecteristcs.

Can dogs be gay? Not so absurd. From my understanding of dogs they will hump anything with/without a pulse. They even have the unique behaviour of trans-species homosexuality i.e. a male dog humping a male human and you don’t need the discovery channel to know this exists. This then raises the quesion “what would stop them humping a same sex dog.” “Nothing” thats what.

Can Fish be gay? Don’t be absurd. Fish are to expressionless, have zero emotion and aren’t even capable of making a sound without using their environment. Where as gay people as well know are quite flamboyant, very emotional and sometimes loud.

Can birds be gay? Undecided. There is two ways to look as this. First birds are very athletic and masters of speed at least the flying ones are anyway and very family orientated (how may times have we all seen a bird feeding her chirping young ones on TV) which destances them quite well from homosexuality had it not been for their ability to fly, which brings me to the second way of looking at this. Now we all know that all men in the airline industry bar the pilots are guaranteed to by gay. With a birds primary form of transport being flying this doesn’t look so good for them.

The only coclusion that can be drawn from absurdity analysis is that “Yes, some animals can be gay” and the only way to further investigate this hypothesis I’ll need to spend a number of years studying chickens because of their lack of homosexual camouflage, something I might save for my retirement years so until then…

SOME ANIMALS CAN BE GAY

I’d love to hear others thoughts on this